you like me.... you really like me....

What a way to start the morning. I received my first blog reader email today. It was quite a nice surprise to hear positive feedback from someone who isn't a friend or immediate family.

In honor of this fine occasion; I want to congratulate Antonio for being the very FIRST. Although it's not like winning a marathon or being Miss Universe, there is still some pride you can take in saying "I emailed her way back when she only had 10 people going to her blog page."

Thanks for reading.

Michael Jackson... a memory in the music.

I know there are people who will be cynical and mean-spirited towards the man known as the "King of Pop". The rumors, scandal, and allegations certainly merit reason for cynicism. Trust me... I'm one of those people.

Beyond the allegations and criticism you still have to acknowledge that the person, not the man, not the boy, not the "King" but the person who carried the spirit of Michael Jackson made a profound impact on music as it spanned nearly half a century. There aren't many people who can say they have entertained millions since the age of five.

Being a prodigy of the 80's; I can clearly say without a doubt, my first encounter with Michael Jackson was during a broadcast of the Motown 25 special. My parents didn't have cable at the time, and our giant TV console with rabbit ears (and spinning channel dial) only picked up about three channels - so we as kids didn't watch a whole lot of TV unless it was Saturday morning cartoons or the occasional Spanish telenovela. To prevent boredom we were usually out of the house playing in the yard or on the block somewhere after we finished homework, chores and what not.

It happened to be what seemed like a warm spring evening after dinner, when I knocked on the door of my best friend Monica's house. After a few good patient knocks with no answer, her parents yelled out through the window to come in. It was strange to not be acknowledged as a five and a half year old, when you just wander into someone else's house not knowing what was going on.

As I walked into the living room, the entire family was glued to their large television console sans rabbit ears (they had cable) and were watching Michael glide across the stage completely mesmerized by the melodic beat of Billie Jean. I had no idea who this man was or what he was singing about, but at that moment the beat and lyrics were permanently etched into my mind and I could not get over how cool the man with high water pants, white glitter socks and matching glove looked. I wanted to dance and move just like him. I also wanted a pair of his cool patent leather penny loafers and it took me nearly 25 years to find a pair that came remotely close to his. I still own them today and they're my favorite.

No matter what happened to that man, the connection I had at that very moment made me appreciate everything he would ever have to offer the music industry.... countless hits, albums, tours, songs. He dedicated his life to the art of being a true captivator. Even in death we are captivated by the loss of a musical genius because we know there will never be anyone quite like him.

OMG! I am getting married!

Quite a bit has happened in the last 10 days. Matt and I just returned from a fabulous cruise to the Caribbean. It was AMAZING (to say the least)! Never in my life have I been so relaxed and completely at peace with the world.

Initially the trip was planned as a family vacation with Matt's parents celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary. Little did I know - it would turn into the most romantic getaway ever.

I'm sure you're probably curious, because a few people have already asked whether or not I knew this was going to happen. To be totally honest, I had ZERO clue what was in store for me. My take on the trip was; we were going on vacation to have a good time as a family, and that was it. There weren't any big plans and I really did not expect anything other than fun, sun, and some swimming in the ocean.... along with maybe half a dozen piña coladas at lunch.

On the very first day of the cruise as we set out to sea, came the most surprising moment of my life. Now I could just come out and say it now, but of course you want the details... so let me drag this out just a bit.

After spending a few minutes with his family initially; Matt and I decided to watch the "lovely" views of Jersey City go by on our own private balcony. We slowly drifted off into the Atlantic and watched the New York harbor shrink in the distance. I just happened to be leaning over the balcony watching us near the Verrazano Bridge, since I remembered from our last cruise how close the ship stacks actually get to reaching the bottom. It's quite a thrilling experience because in the back of your head you wonder if you'll actually hit it. While we drifted away a rain storm suddenly hit and thunder was rolling in the background. It really was quite peaceful.

I think in that moment; Matt could sense that I was completely distracted from everything and feeling a bit of bliss from the thought of leaving the world behind. He's pretty good at sensing when my mind is at ease and just then he decided to ask how much I loved him. Of course; me being the sarcastic jerk that I am, I decided to answer back with a quick remark and said "to the back of the ship".

Now of course you know it's not fair to measure love in distance, because there is no way possible you could calculate your love for a person when that love measures beyond infinity. At that very same time as I was kidding around about the measurement of my love, Matt knelt down on one knee and pulled out a tiny black box.

I could not believe it.

It's funny every time I think about it now, my eyes get wide as if I'm still trying to believe whether or not the experience was really happening. Matt opened up that little black box and said "Well this is how much I love you."

I was speechless.

There aren't enough words to describe all the emotions that ran through me. For a second it was as if I had no motor skills whatsoever, and literally just sobbed in uncontrollable happiness. I get a little misty eyed thinking about it now.

So many years of your life go by, and as a woman you always wonder what that exact moment will be like for you. You think to yourself "oh I won't cry" or "it will never happen to me like that... I'll be in complete control". To this day there has not been a single event in my life that stunned me with complete joy like this.

Now to be clear when I say joy, I don't mean the type of joy you get when you bite into an ice cream cone, or you hit all 7's on a slot machine. This is the type of joy when it is so overwhelming that you are like an infant in your mind, and just looking at the face of the person across from you brings you peace in your heart because you know they will always be there for you no matter what happens (even in those moments when all you can do is sob).

So to get on with the story... that is what I did. I sobbed for nearly five minutes, while Matt consoled me and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. It was the absolute best moment of my life.